The Whole World is a Stage...This One is a About the Players

We had planned to have a perfect Saturday all week and it had seemed like the stars were all in alignment.  We had family coming over and it was going to be a lovely afternoon.  Apparently, Diabetes decided to try to throw a monkey wrench in that plan.  In a nutshell, Alison woke up in the "extremely-high-making-ketone" way.  We had to do an unexpected set change.  We had to give her manual injections.  She was not a happy camper.   We kept an eye on her and kept everyone coming over as a "game time decision".  Luckily, my brother is the very best when it comes to my kids and had I called him to cancel, it would have been a non issue, but not everyone handles disappointment so gracefully.  This brought me to today's thought...

A friend of mine recently told me that someone she had felt close to had criticized her about not having enough time for their friendship since becoming a mother.  This seems to be a pretty common.  Some people get told nicely. Some don't get told, and friendships just fade away. 

I had a similar situation.  It happened when Alison was about a year old.  Since some of you who read my posts might share some mutual former friends, I will spare too many details. 

I was, accused, however accurately, or not, of being a poor and neglectful friend.  I was told that since the birth of my child, that I did not deliver what was needed or expected by the other parties in the relationship.  When I wasn't willing to realign my schedule and priorities, the friendship found its way to its conclusion. It is said that in each conflict there are the sides of each party and then there's the truth, somewhere in the middle, so keep in mind that I see myself as, although not faultless, somewhat the victim, I am sure that I am not the only party who felt that way in the situation.

I don't want to make light of this situation.  It was very, very painful for me and took a lot to work through and move on from.  

I have found that since Alison's diagnosis, there are people who are more reluctant around her.  They are less comfortable to be alone with her, even if one of us has to disappear for an instant.  That's okay.  There are even those who have been scared off all together.  That's okay too.  But looking back (I know that maybe my own bitterness causes me to be judgmental) I have to wonder, how would people who cannot accept your limitations at the "best" of times deal with your life during the challenging moments?

So to those of you "new" mommies who find the dynamics of your friendships changing, although I hope it is never as drastic as it was in my case, maybe the friends that you really need at this point in your life are taking centre stage and the ones who are going to take more minor roles are fading into the background for a while for a reason.