So, I Think We Might Be On To Something....Finally!

Looks like, since our last endo visit, we might be onto two tricks that work for us (fingers crossed, touch wood).  First, it seems that we have all our basals worked out and programmed into Alison's Ping...except maybe mid morning (she's still coming up low at lunch even when she's not active- we hit 1.9 the other day which was scary).  Two, using her hip and butt for insertion site works best for Alison with the Inset 30.

We have not had any bad insertions since her appointment which is unheard of for us, since 4 year-olds wiggle during site changes!

BTW, the Inset 30 link above is a link to a how-to site change video.  I'm sorry, it is in German, but it is one of the better ones for the proper placement of the feet of the Inset 30, so I thought that the language be-damned, it was worth posting!

Happy Anniversary Mommy

Today is one of those odd days of reflection for me.  I can, with exact clarity, remember where I was at every moment of this day two years ago.  I can recall the smells, the sounds, the thoughts running through my head.  If I think too hard, I can even bring back that overwhelming feeling that the room is rapidly running out of air.

Today is the two year anniversary of Alison’s diagnosis.  Last year I tried to sweep it under the rug.  It didn’t work.  Instead of keeping busy, I was miserable.  This year I decided to take another approach.  Another D mom was blogging about how they celebrate the victories on their diagnosis date, so we thought we’d take that approach.

Alison had a scheduled appointment at the Endo clinic and we went to Dairy Queen after.  Nothing fancy.  In fact, it will seem like nothing at all to most of you on a hot summer day, but, in our house, where ice cream is a luxury, it was akin to a royal visit!

The part of the day that is still replaying in my head right now is a conversation I had with one of our nurse educators and a student that was learning from our yearly panel review session.  I had mentioned how far we had come in the last two years.  How I looked back to two years ago, exactly today, and don’t even recognize the person I was, how much I have grown and adapted.  I said how I really wish I would have known that it was going to be ok.  Not tomorrow, or the next day, or six months down the line.  Not that it was ever going to be normal, or the same, but that we’d find a new kind of happiness and that’s ok too.  He mentioned that the past weekend had been a very busy diagnosis weekend in our area.  So as I go to bed tonight, my hope and prayer is this…I hope that those going through the phase that we were in two years ago tonight will find the grace, courage, hope, love and strength, a little bit at a time.

And as Alison said to me while devouring her ice cream “happy anniversary”

We Walked...Now We Sleep

Okay, so we completed our 3K in blistering humidity!  But what a nice route!  You could not have picked a more sunny day!


The bands played for us!  There were sponsors cheering us on!  There were bouncy castles (yes, Mommy even went through the bounce-ath-a-lon with Alison).  All in All, the Telus Walk to Cure Diabetes was a great day for the Morleys!


Alison brought in about $900, which is far higher than her $100 goal!  She was very happy when the volunteers  at the prize desk were giving her high-fives!  What a great accomplishment for a 4 year-old!


Alison was really happy and is already talking about how we can raise even more money for next years race.  She asked if Riley will be old enough to actually walk instead of being pushed in the stroller (yes, Alison insisted in walking the majority of the route).


Now everyone is knackered and ready for beddy!




Here are some pics from our day:

The Last Push

Hey Everyone!  We're in the home stretch!  This Sunday is the Telus  Walk to Cure Diabetes.  Alison has done a great job fundraising, but we could still do better!  If you were planning on donating you can still go to JDRF  and make an online donation.

For those of you from work who will be at the Richmond Road office this Friday (June 8), Alison and I will be selling paper sneakers to raise more funds for the walk between 8:00 am and 1:00 pm.  We'll be selling the shoes, but we'll also take donations of change in any amount!!!!

There Are No Words Video

(for those who know me well, you'll understand how much this takes out of me)

The Whole World is a Stage...This One is a About the Players

We had planned to have a perfect Saturday all week and it had seemed like the stars were all in alignment.  We had family coming over and it was going to be a lovely afternoon.  Apparently, Diabetes decided to try to throw a monkey wrench in that plan.  In a nutshell, Alison woke up in the "extremely-high-making-ketone" way.  We had to do an unexpected set change.  We had to give her manual injections.  She was not a happy camper.   We kept an eye on her and kept everyone coming over as a "game time decision".  Luckily, my brother is the very best when it comes to my kids and had I called him to cancel, it would have been a non issue, but not everyone handles disappointment so gracefully.  This brought me to today's thought...

A friend of mine recently told me that someone she had felt close to had criticized her about not having enough time for their friendship since becoming a mother.  This seems to be a pretty common.  Some people get told nicely. Some don't get told, and friendships just fade away. 

I had a similar situation.  It happened when Alison was about a year old.  Since some of you who read my posts might share some mutual former friends, I will spare too many details. 

I was, accused, however accurately, or not, of being a poor and neglectful friend.  I was told that since the birth of my child, that I did not deliver what was needed or expected by the other parties in the relationship.  When I wasn't willing to realign my schedule and priorities, the friendship found its way to its conclusion. It is said that in each conflict there are the sides of each party and then there's the truth, somewhere in the middle, so keep in mind that I see myself as, although not faultless, somewhat the victim, I am sure that I am not the only party who felt that way in the situation.

I don't want to make light of this situation.  It was very, very painful for me and took a lot to work through and move on from.  

I have found that since Alison's diagnosis, there are people who are more reluctant around her.  They are less comfortable to be alone with her, even if one of us has to disappear for an instant.  That's okay.  There are even those who have been scared off all together.  That's okay too.  But looking back (I know that maybe my own bitterness causes me to be judgmental) I have to wonder, how would people who cannot accept your limitations at the "best" of times deal with your life during the challenging moments?

So to those of you "new" mommies who find the dynamics of your friendships changing, although I hope it is never as drastic as it was in my case, maybe the friends that you really need at this point in your life are taking centre stage and the ones who are going to take more minor roles are fading into the background for a while for a reason.

Jen, Nora's Mom, from the Blue Heel Society, wrote a letter to Diabetes.  She is a wonderful writer, a brave woman and if she ever is up for sainthood, she'll get my vote.  Here's a link to her letter: Dear Diabetes,.

Jen encouraged the rest of us to write and share our own letters to Diabetes.  I want Jen to know that I tried; God knows I did.  My first attempt was an f-bomb laced diatribe.  My second attempt was a letter of a defiant and threatening nature.  The third time around I just wrote "you can't have Alison" and cried until I couldn't cry anymore.

While my attempt at a letter that I could share with all of you, one that would be therapeutic and helpful, might seem like a bust, I re-learned a lesson that keeps coming up.  My friend Tammy's mother Debbie has told me that the universe will send you the same assignment over and over again until you learn it by heart and this one is taking me a while.  IT WILL TAKE A LONG TIME FOR THE PAIN OF DIAGNOSIS TO EASE, if it ever will.

I keep thinking that my life has moved on.  That I am okay with poking my child with lancets and testing her blood several times a day.  That putting tubes into her body and giving her needles is just the way it is.  That it is what it is.  That the late nights are fine.  That watching my child go through her worst moments while feeling helpless is okay.  Then I will have a day when I get that feeling like I did on the day that we were diagnosed almost two years ago.

The best way I can describe it is this.  When they told us that Alison was in Diabetic ketoacidosis , the room felt like the air had been sucked out of it.  Everyone feels it differently.  But that's what it was like for me.  When it hits me, every once in a while, it feels like that again.

The one thing I would tell Diabetes is this though, someone like Alison, who is currently running around the living room, wearing a cape calling herself Super Ali, is hard to put down and hard to be down around your very own super hero!